A rare snowfall in Florida has sent local truckers into a state of shock, with many reporting symptoms of weather-induced panic.
“I signed up for humidity and hurricanes, not this white nightmare,” one driver said after spotting actual snowflakes on his windshield.
The unexpected winter storm, described by meteorologists as a once-in-a-century event, has caused mass confusion on Florida’s highways. Truckers accustomed to blazing heat and year-round flip-flop weather have been seen pulling over to “make sure they weren’t hallucinating.”
“I thought my windshield had just gotten really dusty,” said another trucker. “Then I realized – it was frozen. In Florida. I almost quit on the spot.”
As a result of this traumatic event, a group of Florida-based truckers is now petitioning for heated highways – a system that would ensure the pavement never drops below 80 degrees Fahrenheit.
Meanwhile, truck stops are reporting record-high sales of:
- Emergency winter gear (which, in Florida, means socks).
- Anti-freeze (most of which is being incorrectly applied to sunglasses).
- Therapists specializing in climate confusion trauma.
State officials have reassured Floridians that this snowfall is a rare occurrence and not a sign that the apocalypse is near. However, some truckers remain unconvinced, with one stating, “If I see even one more flake, I’m hauling my rig straight to the equator and never looking back.”
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