In a world where there’s an app for everything, truckers are taking a stand against parking apps. A recent study found that despite widespread parking shortages, drivers are deliberately ignoring digital solutions and instead reviving old-school methods that range from impressive to downright absurd.
“I don’t need some app telling me where to park,” grumbled veteran trucker Hank “Two-Mile-Back” Johnson. “I rely on my gut, the way my granddaddy did, and if that fails, I toss a quarter. Heads, I pull into the next rest stop. Tails, I keep rolling till I physically can’t see straight.”
Other truckers have gone even further to avoid modern technology. Some are sending out CB distress calls in Morse code, others are using trained pigeons to scout parking availability, and a few have reportedly started using a divining rod to “feel” where the best truck stop might be. One fleet even hired a “parking psychic” who claims to sense which rest areas will have space – though results have been mixed, with at least one driver waking up wedged between two reefer units in a Walmart lot.
One driver in Iowa took things to the next level by attempting a ritualistic “trucker dance” under a full moon in hopes of spiritually manifesting a free parking space at the busiest TA in the state. Witnesses claim the effort was unsuccessful, though he did reportedly secure a sponsorship offer from a local boot company impressed by his footwork.
Despite the growing parking crisis, truckers remain committed to avoiding apps at all costs. When asked why, one driver summed it up simply: “Look, I’ll use GPS to get where I’m going. But if I start relying on an app to park, what’s next? Letting AI back up my rig? No thanks, I’d rather parallel park blindfolded.”
For now, the trucking community remains divided between those willing to embrace technology and those who believe that when it comes to finding a parking spot, the only real solution is the same as it’s always been – sheer luck, questionable decision-making, and occasionally, a bribe involving beef jerky.
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