Major truck manufacturers Kenworth and Freightliner have announced a groundbreaking initiative to redesign their engine sounds after recent research confirmed that low-frequency vibrations in trucks may be putting drivers to sleep.
“We always thought a quiet, smooth ride was the goal,” said one baffled executive. “Turns out, we basically built rolling sleep machines.”
The study, which found that certain frequencies can lull drivers into drowsiness in as little as 15 minutes, sent shockwaves through the industry. Instead of optimizing fuel efficiency, truck engineers are now focused on optimizing “driver wakefulness.” Their solution? A series of new alertness-boosting engine sounds designed to keep truckers wide-eyed on long hauls.
Among the proposed solutions:
- Airhorn Mode: The engine will randomly let out a loud honk every 15 minutes to snap drivers back to attention.
- Motivational Revving: A turbocharged growl that intensifies every time the system detects a slight swerve.
- Aggressive Idle Mode: Instead of a soft hum, trucks will now sound like a muscle car revving at a red light.
- The “Something’s Broken” Feature: A programmed knocking noise that resembles an expensive mechanical failure, ensuring drivers stay alert from sheer financial panic.
Despite the effort, some truckers are skeptical. “I don’t know,” said one veteran driver. “If my truck randomly starts screaming at me, I might just pull over and find a quieter job, like working on a fighter jet.”
In the meantime, some independent drivers are taking matters into their own hands, installing custom wake-up soundtracks that include barking dogs, an ex-girlfriend’s voicemail rants, and an endless loop of a dispatcher saying, “Where’s the load?”
As for the future? Experts predict a rise in “classic truck restorations,” where drivers retrofit their modern rigs with the old-school, window-rattling clatter of pre-2000s diesel engines. “At least those kept us awake,” one trucker muttered before cranking up the volume on his truck’s new heavy-metal playlist.
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