With the first signs of spring popping up across the country, truckers are preparing for the usual seasonal struggles – warmer weather, thawing highways, and an explosion of roadside “home cooking” stands of highly debatable food safety standards.
“I know spring is here when my windshield looks like a Jackson Pollock painting made of bugs,” said one driver from Tennessee. “I went through a whole jug of wiper fluid in an hour. Might as well drive by Braille at this point.”
Potholes are also making a dramatic return after a long winter, with reports of some reaching “black hole” status. One trucker in Pennsylvania claims he lost an entire pallet of freight after hitting one so deep it had “its own zip code.” Road crews are allegedly working on fixes, but in true springtime fashion, many highways are now covered in so many orange cones that GPS systems have simply given up.
And then there’s the return of roadside BBQ pop-ups. “Every year, these guys just appear overnight,” said a veteran trucker. “One day it’s an abandoned lot, the next it’s a smoker made from a rusted-out reefer unit and a guy named Big Earl telling me he’s got the ‘best ribs this side of the Mississippi.’”
Despite the bugs, bumps, and questionable brisket, truckers are embracing the arrival of spring in the only way they know how – by rolling down the windows, cranking up the radio, and hoping the next pothole doesn’t swallow an entire axle.
*All articles on this website are crafted with human creativity and a touch of AI-inspired humor. These stories are entirely fictional, written purely for fun and entertainment, and should not be taken as factual or advice. Keep smiling and stay safe! And remember-don’t read while driving; tune in to our podcast instead 🙂
