America’s bridges are falling apart faster than a dispatcher’s patience on a Friday. With collapsed overpasses, pothole-riddled crossings, and suspiciously tilted structures becoming the norm, many in the trucking industry are asking: “How much longer can we play the world’s most dangerous game of real-life Frogger?”
According to the latest infrastructure report, 42 percent of U.S. bridges are either “structurally deficient,” “critically tired,” or “held together with hope and a Home Depot gift card.”
“I crossed one in Pennsylvania, and the whole thing sounded like a drum solo,” said a flatbed driver. “I looked in my side mirror and I swear one bolt waved goodbye.”
Engineers point to deferred maintenance, budget shortages, and extreme weather as contributing factors. “Also, someone patched a 40-foot crack with Flex Tape,” one civil engineer said. “It held. Until it didn’t.”
In response, truckers have taken matters into their own hands. “I check every bridge on Google Earth now,” one said. “If it looks like it starred in a disaster movie, I’m rerouting.”
There’s even a new driver superstition: honking twice before crossing a questionable span. “Once for good luck, once in case it’s the last sound I make,” a driver explained.
Some fleets are testing bridge sensors that alert drivers if a structure dips more than it should. “We tried installing one, but it started going off even in the parking lot,” a fleet manager admitted. “Turns out the whole yard’s sinking too.”
Officials claim they’re working on it. “We’ve allocated billions to infrastructure,” one DOT rep said. “Just as soon as we figure out where it went, we’ll get started.”
In the meantime, drivers are advised to keep it light, watch for signs like “Bridge Wobbles Slightly,” and never trust a structure that’s been repaired with zip ties and optimism.
As one seasoned driver put it, “If I gotta hit the gas just to make it over the middle section, that’s not a bridge – that’s a test of faith.”
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