The American trucking industry continues to face a baffling shortage of nearly one million drivers – and no one knows exactly where they’ve all gone. Some blame retirements, others blame regulations, but most drivers say it’s simple: “We’ve seen the rate per mile, and we’re good.”
Companies are getting desperate. One major carrier recently ran an ad promising new hires a free puppy, unlimited mobile hotspot, and “emotional support dispatcher.”
“I was just joking when I said I needed a beagle and better bandwidth,” said one driver. “But when they showed up with both, I took the job.”
The shortage has led to increasingly absurd recruitment efforts. One billboard in Ohio simply read: “Please. We’re begging.” Another carrier offered to name trucks after their drivers – complete with custom decals like “Carl’s Revenge” and “Big Brenda’s Freight Machine.”
“We’ve offered sign-on bonuses, flexible schedules, even truck stop foot massages,” one recruiter said. “At this point, we’d consider letting drivers pick the company jingle.”
Industry analysts point to a mix of high turnover, long hours, and outdated restrooms. “You can’t run a 21st-century economy with 1996 shower tokens,” one expert warned.
Some companies are even hiring “decoy dispatchers” whose only job is to agree with the driver and say things like “Yeah, that shipper is the worst” and “You’re totally right, 300 miles is way too far for that rate.”
Meanwhile, social media is full of former drivers posting vacation photos and writing captions like, “This beach doesn’t ask for logbooks.”
The Department of Transportation has suggested solutions like expanding training programs and reducing CDL wait times, but truckers have other ideas. “Maybe just pay us better and stop acting shocked when we ask for a 34-hour reset,” one driver snapped.
Until then, the million-driver mystery continues. And as one fleet owner put it, “If anyone sees my last three drivers, tell them I’ll double their pay and throw in a hot tub. For the sleeper cab. I’m not joking.”
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