In a touching tribute to his fallen traveling companions, trucker John Chicago announced plans to hold a funeral for the 6,000 bugs that have met their deaths on his windshield in the last few hours.
Surrounded by confused and curious onlookers, Chicago said, “It only seems appropriate for me to honor them somehow, to let their wandering spirits know that they made a difference in my life. I felt it in my heart when each of their tiny bodies was destroyed on the unforgiving glass wall that became their tomb. It’s terrible but true that not an hour goes by that I don’t commit more of their bodies to the great beyond just by doing my job. Perhaps this will free their tiny souls and allow them safe passage into their arthropod netherworld.”
The mass burial was to take place at high noon to “represent their perfect ascension into the great high place. Chicago was last seen at a nearby rest stop with a worn-out bible, a large trash bag, and the world’s tiniest shovel.
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