A-list actor Tom Cruise has finally gotten into the automotive product game! Capitalizing on the career renewing success of Top Gun: Maverick, Mr. Cruise has just announced the release of Tom Cruise Control.
“Forget autopilot, forget self-driving cars – this is the future, and the future is cool,” Mr. Cruise said last night at a press event in Chicago. “This isn’t driving- it’s Cruising.”
Aimed at long-haul truck drivers and others who spend their hours on the highways, Tom Cruise Control has various features never seen before that can be adapted to any modern vehicle.
Top Gun Gear One not only maintains your speed at a smooth 62 mph – 1962 being the year of Tom Cruise’s birth. It also blasts 1980s action hits by Kenny Loggins the entire time it’s on.
Meanwhile, Top Gun Gear Three not only manages your speed but also activates your side and rearview mirrors to “enhance” your reflection, so you too can look as badass as an international movie star. Sunglasses and new hair cut included at no extra charge! Why look back when you can look forward?
Top Gun Gear Five blasts your car with fighter jet speed… six feet off the ground! This reduces friction, improves tire longevity, and, best of all, guarantees a smooth ride.
Before hopping into his private helicopter and assuming the pilot’s seat, Mr. Cruise added, “This is only the beginning. I do all my own stunts, so I think I know how to make driving not only fun but also super cool. Why drive when you can Cruise?”
A question many will be asking themselves when Tom Cruise Control is released later this year.
*All the posts on this website are pure imagination of writers, and they never happened. They are here for fun purposes only and not to give you advice. Keep your smile and stay healthy. Do not read while driving! Listen to our podcast instead 🙂
