As LTL companies scramble to comply with the updated National Motor Freight Classification (NMFC) changes, many have turned to artificial intelligence. But early adopters are learning that even robots have their limits.
“We uploaded 3,000 product types into the system and told it to get to work,” said freight analyst Miles Denton at SmartHaul Inc. “By hour two, the AI flagged a pallet of yoga balls as ‘confused beach equipment’ and asked for a mental health break.”
Dubbed “ClassiBot9000,” the AI was designed to adapt to tricky freight descriptions like “miscellaneous sporting goods” and “probably machine parts.” Unfortunately, it began classifying everything as “emotionally fragile.”
One dispatcher, Tina Crux, recalls the moment it broke. “It got to a shipment of ferret hammocks and just froze. Then it printed a note that said, ‘I need context.’”
The FMCSA has expressed cautious optimism, while also releasing a statement: “If the AI says it’s a decorative lawn gnome, maybe it is. We’re not arguing with robots anymore.”
Meanwhile, brokers are stuck deciphering cryptic AI outputs like “Category 842B: Sad metal with bolts” and “Ambient foam – possibly therapeutic.”
Drivers have started playing a guessing game called “What Did the Robot Call This?” The winner gets an unpaid lunch and the honor of loading it by hand.
“It’s called a crate of ceramic bidets ‘spiritual vessels,’” said freight handler Jimmy Tron. “That’s poetry, man. Useless, but poetic.”
As ClassiBot9000 is now on a “self-care break,” companies are returning to the old method: yelling at each other over who mislabeled the pallet of mystery tubes.
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