Stating that the real supervillain is illiteracy, Batman announced today that he was retiring his legendary Batmobile in favor of a fully-combat-ready Bookmobile. Librarians everywhere swooned at the news. The stock price of bookmobile manufacturers skyrocketed.
Speaking through billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne’s butler Alfred Pennyworth, though no explanation was given, Batman stated, ‘Representation matters. Though my traditional crime-fighting role has not changed, the sight of the Riddler being taken down by a pro-book hero will inspire millions of kids to increase their reading.’
The new vehicle features Gatling guns, rocket launchers, and a used 12-cylinder engine from a Ferrari Testarossa. New weaponry includes an” Shhh!” feature to intimidate noisy criminals.
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