As the 2025 CVSA International Roadcheck gets underway this week with a focus on steering and suspension, inspectors are turning to an unexpected tool: the supernatural. In a move both baffling and strangely effective, several DOT officers have begun using Ouija boards during alignment checks, claiming it improves diagnostic precision through “spiritual calibration.”
“We figured if we’re already poking around under trucks, we might as well ask the spirits if the alignment is true,” explained Sergeant Lynn ‘Loose Lugnut’ Harris of the CVSA, tapping the edge of a wooden planchette resting on a Peterbilt’s dash. “Ghosts don’t lie about bad bushings.”
The three-day blitz, running June 4 through June 6, is expected to result in thousands of inspections across North America. But unlike previous years, 2025 is the first to include what CVSA calls a “pilot paranormal diagnostics option,” rolled out in response to budget limitations and mechanic shortages.
“We were skeptical until the board spelled out ‘T-I-E-R-O-D,’” admitted Officer Dean Wobble of the Missouri DOT. “And sure enough, that tie rod was shot. It’s spooky, but effective.”
Despite claims of improved accuracy, drivers are… less than enchanted.
“I didn’t drop $120K on a rig just to be evaluated by a ghost named Leonard,” said Leon McCreedy, who hauls produce in a 2023 Kenworth. “Next thing you know, they’ll be hiring tarot readers to check brake pads and calling it ‘divine DOT compliance.’”
Others worry about unintended consequences. “My Ouija board spelled out ‘RUN,’ so I did,” said one panicked driver who later admitted it was probably just the wind.
An FMCSA insider, speaking on condition of anonymity, confirmed that the decision to use occult tools was purely financial. “It was either this or pay for actual alignment recalibration training,” the source said. “And have you seen the price of a steering angle sensor?”
The CVSA insists it’s just a temporary measure. Still, rumors persist that next year’s blitz may include palm readings, aura scans, and a spirit-level exclusively for freight securement evaluations.
For now, truckers are advised to bring their logbooks, paperwork, and a strong salt circle – just in case.
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