As the egg shortage crisis deepens, the FMCSA has taken emergency measures, relaxing hours-of-service rules for live chicken haulers. But while the government hopes to stabilize the supply chain, something unexpected has happened – eggs have officially become the hottest commodity on the market.
Within hours of the new rules taking effect, black-market egg deals started popping up across the country. Grocery store shelves remained barren, while online resellers listed individual eggs for eye-watering prices. Reports have surfaced of eggs being used in high-stakes poker games, replacing chips at underground casinos.
“It’s gotten to the point where proposing with a diamond ring is old-fashioned,” said one anonymous source. “If you really want to impress someone, you kneel down and open a velvet box with a Grade A large inside.”
Meanwhile, security companies have reported a surge in requests for armored transport services – not for cash or gold, but for cartons of eggs. One high-profile case involved a convoy of chicken haulers being escorted by a fleet of black SUVs as if they were transporting a national treasure.
Despite these bizarre developments, truckers hauling live chickens are now working overtime to keep up with demand. “I used to think I was just a trucker,” said one driver. “Now, I feel like I’m in charge of the nation’s entire economy. If I hit a pothole, I’m taking someone’s retirement fund with me.”
Economists are warning that if this trend continues, the U.S. dollar could soon be replaced by an egg-based currency. The government, however, remains optimistic. “We believe that, with time, the market will stabilize,” a spokesperson for the FMCSA stated. “But just in case, we advise everyone to handle their omelets with extreme caution.”
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