As what is hoped to be the final disaster event of the season bears down upon the nation, the Federal Emergency Management Agency is racing to pre-position vital supplies of election excuses at key points to prevent a collapse of our critical infrastructure.
FEMA director Vin D. Kation said to the press today, “A nation prepared is a nation that survives. When America gets walloped by a horrific happening such as this, it is vital that we have quick access to the wide variety of embittered justifications that we have historically enjoyed. That is why convoys of thousands of FEMA trucks are deploying as we speak, hauling box trailers and flatbeds primarily, though an important contingent are pulling Biohazard tankers for the truly intense excuses.”
Kation said that the bulk of the supply depots will be filled with “Fraud!” and “Disinformation!” packages, with a smattering of “The (insert bogeyman of your choice) did it!”
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