Per a mandate passed late yesterday evening, all semi-trucks passing through California are required to have a funnel of at least 10 feet in diameter attached to their semi-truck. According to Gavin Newsom, Governor, the water that’s collected throughout the truck’s time in the Golden State should be re-used for showers and washing clothes. “If you thought inflation was serious, you’re kidding yourself – we can live with higher-priced groceries, but we will die if we don’t have water.”
When asked about the funnels’ impact on aerodynamics, especially as they’ll decrease fuel efficiency in a world prioritizing sustainability, Newsom declined to comment as he stepped into his private jet. “We’re handling it,” he said. Little is known about the duration of the mandate, though the California Senators have apparently been in talks to attempt to harvest water in the Dead Sea. “It may be salty, but it’s water – you won’t be able to complain,” Dianne Feinstein said.
Truckers around the region haven’t been happy about the change. “It’s bad enough that my truck looks like a science project,” one trucker said. “All of my clothes smell like rainwater now,” another noted. The California State Police have warned truckers that they’ll be required to measure their funnels at each weighing station, with noncompliance punishable by up to 20 years in jail.
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