In yet another sign of the untold miseries of record inflation, beloved icon the Michelin Man was found dead today, exploded by too much inflating. As did several homes in the area, his penthouse department suffered catastrophic damage.
‘His, um, tired body couldn’t handle the strain,’ said longtime friend the Goodyear blimp. ‘He’d been working too much, and apparently, he was hitting the hard stuff a lot to take the edge off. But those prescription air compressors are dangerous if abused, you know?’
Police are searching for the dealer who sold the victim the shoddy black-market valves found at the scene. One was still in the Michelin Man’s mouth, which had to be scraped off the ceiling.
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