In a press conference that made headlines around the world, and possibly around the galaxy, NASA revealed yesterday that not only are all UFO sightings real but that each and every commercial truck on earth is a disguised Transformer from the planet Cybertron.
The ambassador from Cybertron, Transformers film franchise director Michael Bay, appearing in his true form as a 1973 UPS delivery van, apologized for the deception, explaining that with their home planet destroyed and evil Decepticons on the hunt for them, his people had no other option.
‘But our hand has been forced,’ Bay said. ‘The trucking business is such a grind now that we prefer an apocalyptic battle to the death with our mortal enemies over making one more negative-profit haul to Scranton.’
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