After weeks of high-tech investigation involving mathematics and non-Euclidean geometry that would make your head melt, scientists at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory’s Not Quite Jet Propulsion Division revealed today that they have positive proof of the existence of other dimensions. The surprising part of the story is the proof was accidentally provided by truck driver Buddy Saywutt of Gullible, Texas.
Saywutt would never have predicted that taking his double-drop over-dimensional load of a giant beer-brewing tank through the fringes of Area 51 would have ended up being literally over-dimensional, but that’s what JPL claims happened. A tear in space-time opened up a rift into another reality that follows different rules than ours.
Also appearing at the press conference were the two residents of the other dimension: a self-aware stapler named Ed and a green puddle of genius calling itself Stephanie.
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