Fall has arrived, and with it comes a new seasonal fuel that nobody thought possible: Pumpkin Spice Diesel. Rolled out by a national fuel supplier desperate to stay “on trend,” the limited-edition blend promises a warm autumn aroma of cinnamon, nutmeg, and vague marketing desperation.
Truckers were among the first to react. “Look, I don’t mind smelling like diesel,” said Iowa-based owner-operator Rick Turner. “But now my cab smells like my wife’s Instagram feed. A guy waved at me with a pumpkin muffin this morning.”
Not everyone is amused. Mechanics report clogged filters and sticky residue. “DEF was bad enough,” groaned technician Michelle O’Connor. “Now I’ve got guys rolling in with coffee-colored sludge in their tanks. If they add whipped cream to this stuff, I’m quitting.”
The supplier defended the product, saying drivers deserve the same seasonal indulgence as suburban moms. “Everyone deserves to feel cozy, even on I-80,” said VP of Seasonal Innovations Chad Whitmore.
Dispatchers say loads now arrive infused with a suspicious latte smell. Meanwhile, rumors are already swirling about December’s rollout: Peppermint Mocha Biodiesel. One driver summed it up best: “If my truck starts smelling like candy canes, I’m walking.”
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