In a major and unexpected announcement, Sped Ex, the world’s largest shipping company, said they would soon go into the overnight organ delivery business, cutting out the helicopters and chartered jets generally employed for the purpose. The service is tentatively called Painless Organ Transshipment.
Senior Vice-President for Startling Developments, Andy Beetgozon, explained. ‘It’s a natural evolution for us. We are everywhere, even places you’d never dream we’d legally be allowed to be, frankly, but an NDA binds me on that. So we can not only deliver your liver with pinpoint precision, we can pick it up in whatever medical facility or abandoned warehouse it’s harvested in. For an extra fee, the harvesting can be done on the move if the patient’s situation or police pursuit requires it.’
Results have been promising so far, despite that one time when a surgeon opened the box and couldn’t find the heart in all of the Styrofoam peanuts.
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