Having admittedly run out of reasons to advertise Navy dogfighting skills in his Top Gun films, naval pilots having had only one air-to-air kill in the last twenty-plus years, Tom Cruise announced today that the next movie in the series will feature Navy dump trucks.
“Not just any old dump trucks,” Cruise said as he BASE-jumped from the Eiffel Tower, because of course he did, “but the new badass M917A3’s, used by the Seabees. We’re installing turret rings on top of the cab to mount Mk 19 40mm grenade launchers. The movie-going public is itching to see us chase down Russian Ural 4320’s.”
Under consideration for further installments in the series are cement mixers, paint stripers, and souped-up port-a-potty suckers with rocket launchers.
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