Seeing his gas levels increase after long periods of driving forwards, local truck driver Joe Bone said he’d recently made the decision to drive exclusively in reverse in the hope of saving money on his exorbitant gas bill.
“I’ve tried everything under the sun, and nothing has kept me from having to give most of my paycheck to old Mr. Gasoline. Some ancient wisdom passed down to me from my ancestors led me to put helium in the tires, but that turned out to be a total bust. I’ve tried filling half the tank with water to make the gas last longer, but that was an absolute waste of what little water I carry in the rig. I’ve even sent over a dozen wishes to my guardian angel, and still not a damn penny saved! If driving backward doesn’t fix the problem, I really don’t know what else I can do. I’m truly at my wits end.”
When reached for comment, it was revealed that Bone had already driven off a nearby embankment due to the considerable disadvantages involved in driving backward.
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