A trucking company owner has been sentenced to nearly four years in prison after lying to the FMCSA. In a desperate defense, he told the judge he misunderstood the agency’s role completely.
“I honestly thought FMCSA stood for Freight Management Consulting and Suggestions Agency,” the owner claimed in court. “I thought their forms were just… suggestions. You know, like those ‘speed limit’ signs in Texas.”
The courtroom reportedly fell silent before the judge asked, “Sir, did you ever once read what FMCSA actually regulates?”
“Well,” the owner replied, “I figured if they were that serious, they’d have a cooler name. ‘Suggestions’ just felt friendlier.”
Federal prosecutors weren’t amused. “Let this be a warning – lying to the agency that regulates your entire industry because you didn’t like their name is not a valid excuse.”
Truckers across the country couldn’t help but weigh in. One driver commented, “Hell, if we’re just renaming agencies now, I’d like the IRS to be called the ‘I Recommend Spending’ department.”
The defense tried to argue that the owner simply misunderstood the paperwork. “The language was confusing,” his attorney said. “The guy thought ‘compliance review’ meant optional homework.”
A spokesman for FMCSA responded sharply, “For the record, our name is crystal clear. We regulate. We fine. We revoke authority. We don’t consult or suggest – we enforce.”
Industry insiders joked that maybe it’s time for a rebrand. “If they’d called it ‘The People Who Can End Your Career Agency,’ no one would’ve messed around,” one fleet owner said.
In the end, the judge delivered the sentence and added, “If you didn’t understand the rules, that’s your problem. Maybe you’ll have time to read some government websites while you’re in there.”
The FMCSA is reportedly considering a new slogan: “We’re not here to suggest. We’re here to ruin your week.”
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