For the third consecutive year, a trucking company CEO has failed to make the list of “Best Fleets to Drive For,” leading to what employees are now calling an annual tradition of disappointment, denial, and dramatic public statements.
Witnesses at the company’s headquarters reported seeing the CEO pacing the office, refreshing the award announcement page, muttering, “This is our year.” When the results finally loaded, confirming that his fleet was once again not on the list, the reaction was swift and emotional.
“He threw his coffee mug at the whiteboard and shouted, ‘Rigged!’” said one employee. “Then he started flipping through our driver satisfaction surveys like he was trying to find evidence that we had been robbed.”
Several sources inside the company confirmed that he had spent the past year preparing for the 2025 nominations, investing in new company swag, hosting mandatory “smile more” training for dispatchers, and adding a suggestion box labeled “Tell Me How to Win This Award.” Despite his efforts, the company didn’t even make the runner-up list.
Desperate for answers, the CEO reportedly pulled up the list of winning fleets, comparing their benefits, pay structure, and driver perks to his own. “How is it possible?” he was heard saying. “We have at least two kinds of coffee in the breakroom. What more do they want?”
In a last-ditch effort to save face, he called an emergency meeting to brainstorm ways to spin the loss. Employees suggested a “Most Underappreciated Fleet” self-award or launching an aggressive social media campaign insisting that “real truckers don’t need trophies.”
“It’s tough to watch,” said one veteran driver, shaking his head. “At this point, we all just pretend to be surprised when the list comes out. The man’s been chasing this award like it’s the golden ticket to happiness.”
According to sources, the CEO has already started planning next year’s campaign, vowing to introduce a new driver appreciation initiative, rebrand the company as “The Happiest Fleet on the Road,” and personally hand out gift cards labeled “Please Give Us Good Reviews.”
Meanwhile, drivers remain skeptical. One summed up the situation simply: “If he wants the award that bad, maybe he should just ask one of the winners what they’re doing right.”
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