The American Trucking Association released its latest report this week, announcing the trucking industry’s total 2023 revenue topped a staggering $875 billion. Naturally, the first question on everyone’s mind was – where did all that money go?
According to small fleet owners, the answer is simple: chrome.
“Yeah, we saw that number and thought, well, that explains the $12,000 my husband spent on new stacks,” said the frustrated spouse of a fleet owner. “Our retirement plan is officially two polished Peterbilts and a custom mud flap that says ‘Living the Dream.’”
Industry insiders estimate that 95.8% of all U.S. fleets operate six trucks or fewer. Yet somehow, every truck stop parking lot glows like a chrome expo under the sun. “I don’t know how they afford it,” a truck stop manager commented. “They argue about fuel prices, but then drop five grand on lug nut covers.”
An anonymous source at the Chrome Accessories Council confirmed the trend. “It’s true. Every year, we see record sales. At this point, we’re thinking of offering chrome seatbelts and chrome steering wheels – if the drivers can handle the glare.”
Truckers, of course, defend the spending. “Look, if I gotta live in this thing six days a week, I’m gonna shine it up,” said one owner-operator. “Besides, chicks dig chrome.”
Economists warn the industry’s shiny addiction could cause problems. “At some point, it’s a safety issue,” one expert noted. “The sun hits one of those bumpers just right, and you’ve got pilots reporting UFOs again.”
Still, there’s no slowing down. “You show me a fleet running three beat-up day cabs and one $200,000 custom show truck – I’ll show you a man who’s winning at life,” a driver bragged.
When asked what they’d do if rates fell, one fleet owner shrugged, “Easy. We’ll just melt down the chrome and sell it by the pound. That’s the real retirement plan.”
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