In a scene reminiscent of the supply convoys of the Red Ball Express in World War II, hundreds of U.S. Army trucks moved out of the Atlanta CDC compound, carrying the new COVID variants.
A CDC press release said that so many varieties of COVID arrive seemingly daily, from Delta B.1.617.2 to Omicron B.1.1.529 to Notagain C.1.2.1313 and Pleasemakeitstop L.2.3.0, that normal distribution method could not keep up with apparent public demand. So the Department of Defense sent the 173rd Viral Transportation Brigade to help ease the logjam.
Its commander, Colonel Matthew Tairpresur, was optimistic. “Normally, we ship flu, and sometimes the measles, diarrhea in a pinch, but this is just the same, only scaled up. We’ll have America all sicked-up in no time. Don’t worry; your regular ‘cough-ee breaks are on the way.”
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