Elon Musk Needs a Few Trucks to Haul His Cash Around

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Elon Musk Needs a Few Trucks to Haul His Cash Around

With stock prices crashing generally, and Tesla’s in particular, eccentric billionaire Elon Musk has been forced to lay off many of the drivers who haul his bales of money wherever he goes.

“It’s unfortunate,” Musk said while waxing and buffing his newest suggestively-shaped space rocket, “but business is business. With fewer crates of cash arriving, I don’t have a need for as many 53-foot double-trailers escorting me.”

The drivers will not be out of work, though, as Musk has transferred them to personal duty fanning him, carrying him on a golden litter, and peeling his grapes.

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