In a shocking first for biological science and traffic management, a highway bottleneck on I-285 at State Route 4 in Fort Lee, New Jersey, lasted so long that animals in livestock trucks evolved into new advanced versions of themselves.
Flabbergasted driver Harry Cheiks described his experience. “I knew we were stuck there for a good long while, but I guess it was a few eons longer than it felt. After a while, your brain kind of goes numb. It really hit me when I checked on the cargo and saw that the sheep were doing Wordle puzzles and the hogs had a nuclear cyclotron going.”
The traffic jam was finally broken up when a team of Nobel Prize-winning chickens came up with a complex workaround involving Google Maps and a time machine.
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