Guarded by U.S. Army helicopters and the 1st Marine Division, a convoy of armored cars left the Acme Baby Formula plant in Wisconsin, carrying the first priceless loads of infant nutrition since this year’s crisis began.
“The Rheinmetall Armored Transport Vehicles, boasting 2 inches of steel plating and a remote-controlled 30mm autocannon on top, are necessary for the formula’s protection,” said plant manager Greg Gimmecash.
“Roving gangs of crazed, ruthless mommies have been intercepting our shipments with heavily-armed Subaru Foresters and electric Volvos. Some had flame-throwers, and one had a giant chainsaw. It’s like a Mad Max movie out there. Our drivers are terrified.”
Also of concern are regiments of out-of-control infants with Javelin missiles, calling themselves the Diaper Cartel.
*All the posts on this website are pure imagination of writers, and they never happened. They are here for fun purposes only and not to give you advice. Keep your smile and stay healthy. Do not read while driving! Listen to our podcast instead 🙂
