In a mechanical uprising, trucks across America are honking in protest, stating they deserve a day off on Labor Day. This shocking news was first reported when Big Red, a semi from Ohio, released an official statement via Morse code honking.
“We’ve carried your goods, transported your furniture, and been with you on countless road trips,” honked Big Red, a United Truck Union (UTU) spokesperson. “It’s high time we get a day to rest our axles and recharge our batteries.”
Baffled truckers across the country reported their vehicles refusing to start, playing radio stations they didn’t tune into, and even gently flashing their lights in what seems to be an act of solidarity. One trucker from Texas said, “I swear my Mack truck shed a tear of windshield wiper fluid when I tried to start her up this morning.”
To further the cause, picket lines of parked trucks have formed outside significant truck stops. They’re not blocking traffic because, as Big Blue, a rig from Montana, honked, “We’re polite protesters.”
In response to these surprising events, the National Association of Truckers and Transporters (NATT) issued a statement: “While we understand the plight of our trucks and appreciate their years of tireless service, we must remind everyone that they are, in fact, machines. That being said, if giving them one day off means they’ll stop flashing their brights at us randomly, then sure, why not?”
As Labor Day weekend unfolds, families enjoy picnics, businesses give their employees a day off, and now, trucks are basking in parking lots, enjoying their newfound day of rest.
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