The Commercial Vehicle Safety Alliance has officially scheduled its International Roadcheck for May 13–15. In response, thousands of truckers across the U.S. and Canada have simultaneously sprinted to check their tires, paperwork, and emotional stability.
“This is the Super Bowl of inspections,” said one driver while nervously wiping imaginary fingerprints off his logbook. “Last year, I failed because my mudflap was ‘too sassy.’ I’m not taking chances this time.”
The CVSA says this year’s focus will be on tire tread, inflation, and damage. In unrelated news, sales of new tires, tire shine, and emergency lug nut kits have skyrocketed overnight.
“I saw a guy at the truck stop polishing his tires with a toothbrush,” one witness reported. “When I asked why, he said, ‘The inspector’s gonna look into my soul, and I want him to see clean rubber.’”
Truck stops are also preparing. “We’re stocking extra donuts for stressed-out drivers,” one manager said. “It’s our way of saying, ‘Sorry about the sudden surprise colonoscopy.’”
Mechanics are fully booked. “I had one driver ask me if I could make his brake pads look ‘extra legal,’” a technician shared. “I told him that’s not how brakes work, but he tipped me anyway.”
Dispatchers have begun sending out gentle reminders like: “Hey, don’t forget the Roadcheck week… or your fifth wheel will be judged by someone with a clipboard and no mercy.”
One fleet has launched a motivational campaign, printing inspirational messages on torque wrenches. “You got this,” reads one. Another says, “Tighten up – like your future depends on it.”
Veteran drivers aren’t sweating it. “I’ve been through more inspections than a tax auditor,” said a 30-year flatbed pro. “Bring it on. I’ve got DOT-grade socks and a backup flashlight.”
For now, the industry braces. Because in May, every inspector becomes a tire whisperer, every truck becomes a rolling target, and every driver becomes a philosopher with a pressure gauge.
*All articles on this website are crafted with human creativity and a touch of AI-inspired humor. These stories are entirely fictional, written purely for fun and entertainment, and should not be taken as factual or advice. Keep smiling and stay safe! And remember-don’t read while driving; tune in to our podcast instead 🙂
