The dean of South Dakota’s Acme Truck Driving Academy, which bills itself as “nearly the third most popular driving school in the greater Sioux Falls metropolitan area,” has awarded the Secretary of Transportation an honorary doctoral degree for his tireless (so to speak) support of the industry.
Speaking from a flatbed trailer towed by a 1987 Kenworth T800 painted in the school colors of atomic tangerine and periwinkle, Dean Alvin D. Tension praised the secretary’s energetic work in guaranteeing that every trucker will bring home “as close to the minimum wage as humanly possible.”
In his acceptance speech, the honoree stated that his next goal is a national wait time of no more than 17 hours per load.
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