In an unprecedented move, the federal government has issued new regulations on trucking recruitment ads after one company took its metaphors from “eye-catching” to “HR nightmare.”
The unnamed trucking firm, desperate to attract new drivers, launched a campaign filled with eyebrow-raising slogans that ranged from questionable to downright concerning. Among the most egregious examples:
- “Our Dispatchers Are Like Your Mother-In-Law – Always Watching, Always Judging.” While intended to highlight their 24/7 support, drivers reported feeling “unsettled” and “vaguely threatened.”
- “Join Us and Shift More Than Just Gears.” A phrase that allegedly aimed to promote career growth but instead sparked a wave of nervous laughter across social media.
- “We Ride Harder Than a Bull on a Caffeine Binge.” This slogan, which was reportedly meant to evoke a strong work ethic, was ultimately deemed “too suggestive” for public billboards.
- “Our Trucks Run Longer Than Your Last Relationship.” Marketed as a nod to the fleet’s reliability, this one somehow managed to offend both drivers and their exes.
- “We Treat You Like Family – The Kind That Won’t Let You Leave.” Intended as a message of company loyalty, it instead conjured images of a trucking horror film.
Following public complaints and driver confusion, the Department of Transportation announced new guidelines requiring all trucking ads to be reviewed for “unintentional threats, accidental innuendos, and metaphors that might make someone question their life choices.”
In response to the new restrictions, the company in question has opted to pivot to a simpler, safer slogan: “We Pay On Time.” Experts predict their recruitment numbers will triple overnight.
*All articles on this website are crafted with human creativity and a touch of AI-inspired humor. These stories are entirely fictional, written purely for fun and entertainment, and should not be taken as factual or advice. Keep smiling and stay safe! And remember-don’t read while driving; tune in to our podcast instead 🙂
