When it was time to install a new state-of-the-art sound system in the House of Representatives chamber at the U.S. Capitol, many venerable companies put in bids for the prestigious job, but there could only be one winner.
Many were surprised at the eventual choice: notorious death-metal band Murdertongue. Their roadies’ trucks have already arrived.
“Oh, I’ve been a fan of these dear boys forever,’ explained Speaker Nancy Pelosi. “Their melodic riffs on the pain of teenaged alienation and how that can be ameliorated with a heady mix of Satanism and magic mushrooms are classics. Just the sort of thing we need for the Judiciary Committee.”
When asked about the danger of a 320-decibel sound system in an enclosed space, she shrugged and said, “A few exploded heads may just be the price of democracy now.”
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