Rolls-Royce Trash Truck Hauls Cash

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Rolls-Royce Trash Truck

The renowned automotive firm Rolls-Royce, known for its luxurious and staggeringly-expensive cars, announced today that it was unveiling its line of bespoke garbage trucks, so no gated community would ever again have to suffer the shame of the “lower orders” spoiling the neighborhood with refuse-stained Chevys. The starting price for this essential item is $1,879,000.

Rolls-Royce President Rupert Penury-Anathema said to reporters, “Can there be any surer way to foul one’s day than by the aesthetic offense of an – I can hardly bear to say it – American vehicle, flies buzzing about and who knows what oozing out of it onto our spotless pavement? I daresay not.

To that end, our trucks will collect aristocratic waste in style. Solid-gold exhaust pipes, exotic African leathers on seat and dashboard, velvet-clad footmen in white wigs running alongside. It can only elevate the tone of the experience.”

Also on tap are Bentley 18-cylinder street-sweepers and silver-plated port-a-potty maintenance trucks.

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