New Orleans, host to America’s biggest and craziest party. Veterans have seen it all, from young ladies earning strings of beads “just like mama used to do it” to torch jugglers to ¾-naked dancers who ought to be grateful that they’re wearing masks.
But no one had seen the outlandish spectacle we were all treated to last night when float driver DeShawn Cinker plunged his tractor and trailer straight into the Mississippi River in a misguided attempt to turn it into a party barge.
“Well, it’s called a float, ain’t it?” he declared in defense of his actions as the Coast Guard rescued the famed Skinnydip Krewe and began raising the decidedly UN-floating wagon from the muddy depths. “If they don’t want to confuse folks, they shoulda give it a more accurate name, like ‘brick’ or ‘anvil.”
Cinker was sentenced to clean up all the New Orleans streets by himself, but this was overturned by a federal court as violating 37 human rights laws.
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