Nick Cannon Contracts Fleet of Trucks to Carry His 347 Kids

Singer, TV host, and producer Nick Cannon is as famed for his fertility as he is for his music. To date Mr. “I don’t fire blanks” has fathered 347 children, but by the time this goes to press the number could well be into four figures. Moreover, with a disposable diaper bill rivaling the budgets of many small nations, Cannon has family logistics problems that only the Army Corps of Engineers can manage.

One of these is transport. Those little darlings need to get to school, music recitals, and soccer practice. It would take upwards of 7 or 8 buses to handle that load, which is unwieldy in one’s Bel Air mansion driveway. The solution is 3 side-dump semi-trailers, blinged-out in gold.

“Works like a charm,” Cannon said while writing a six-figure check to his formula supplier. “You pull up to the front of the school, blow the horn as a warning to get ready, and bam! The little rugrats roll out like beach balls. They love it so much they want to do it 10 more times.”

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