To the shock and delight of lottery players everywhere, Powerball announced today that its top prize has been increased to the maximum allowed by law: 10 gallons of gasoline.
“The billion-dollar payouts just weren’t exciting the public,” said Powerball CEO I. Gahta Bunchalute. “And since the winners were just buying gas with their winnings anyway, we decided to cut out that intermediate step and just award the fuel.”
The first winner turned out to be, ironically, an armored car driver who delivered heavily-guarded diesel fuel to truck stops. He plans to store his winnings in a newly-designed tank-style safe deposit box at Oil Wells Fargo.
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