Swear Jar of Boston-based Trucker Surpasses 1 Million Dollars

After deciding to put a quarter in a “swear jar” every time he experienced road rage, trucker Jordan Mahoney just became a millionaire.

“I didn’t think it’d add up that quickly,” Jordan said. “I just wanted to break a bad habit before I started a family – but now I’m rich!”

When asked what he’ll be doing with the money, Jordan shared that he’d be signing up for anger management therapy. “It’s bittersweet. I made a ton of money, but I’m still mad at every ignorant driver that cuts me off.”

He thought about investing the earnings into self-driving cars but quickly realized that would put him out of a job.

According to the American Psychological Association, traffic is the leading cause of swearing, closely followed by unfilled potholes. The mayor of Boston, Michelle Wu, has used Jordan’s example to highlight the benefits of overwhelming amounts of traffic. “Not fixing the traffic problem was intentional. We knew it would benefit each Bostonian, just like Jordan Mahoney”.

In related news, Michelle Wu announced a salary increase of 37% for this upcoming year.

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