State and federal authorities responded to another bold attack by the so-called Too Soon & Fed Up movement this week. This time an 18-truck convoy of pumpkin spice was hit outside of Montpelier, Vermont. Though the attackers ensured that no one was injured, the entire load was burned in a roadside conflagration that could be smelled in Canada.
Eyewitnesses reported that the convoy was stopped by what appeared to be an overturned wheelchair. This turned out to be only a ruse, as masked, sweater-clad grandmas poured from the woods, shouting slogans such as Not until October, dammit! and You think I like pumpkin spice on my scrambled eggs??? The shocked drivers were overwhelmed before they could react.
At the same time, another attack by the same group destroyed displays of Christmas decorations in several Walmarts.
*All the posts on this website are pure imagination of writers, and they never happened. They are here for fun purposes only and not to give you advice. Keep your smile and stay healthy. Do not read while driving! Listen to our podcast instead 🙂