Despite obtaining his CDL in 1990 and renewing his certification last year, Jeremy Klopp was never taught how to back up a semi-truck. “I fell asleep during training, which didn’t help – and when it was time for my road test, my instructor said he was too hungry to do it and forged his boss’s signature.” The training center in question, I Don’t Give A Truck, did not immediately return a request for comment.
When UPS dispatch assigns Jeremy a delivery, he’s forced to use Google Maps to ensure that he won’t need to reverse to pick up or drop off the load. “Like, conceptually, I could do it – but realistically? I wouldn’t even know where to start.” His excuses for not wanting to deliver to certain locations have spanned the entire spectrum:
• “My ex-girlfriend lives near there, and the relationship didn’t end well.”
• “I’m allergic to the trees outside that grocery store.”
• “The mayor of that city has ties to the mafia, and I’m 1/8th Italian.”
While concerned about his future with UPS, Jeremy has his sights set on other careers in the event that he’s fired. “I’d love to work as an Uber or Lyft driver. At least with cars, you’re never in a position where you need to reverse.”
*All the posts on this website are pure imagination of writers, and they never happened. They are here for fun purposes only and not to give you advice. Keep your smile and stay healthy. Do not read while driving! Listen to our podcast instead 🙂
