Interstate trucker Francis D. Butcher spoke with one of our reporters on Monday, claiming that the excessive media coverage of the Johnny Depp vs. Amber Heard trial has caused his wife to go rouge and defecate on his bed besides doing other abhorrent copycat acts as depicted in the interrogations of Mrs. Heard during the procedures.
“My wife is a huge Amber Heard fan, and she’s watched all her movies a million times. So when the trial began, she didn’t miss it a single day, but then she got carried away and began acting like Amber Heard, thinking that we were the ones getting divorced. She went as far as defecating on my bed and throwing bottles of wine at my head, and she doesn’t even drink wine! I never thought I’d be going through what Jonny Depp is going through, but I sure wish this whole thing would be over so we can get back to our normal lives. I don’t have anything against Mrs. Heard, but she became a monster when my wife began acting like her!”
Mr. Butcher is taking his wife to a psychologist. Dr. Sheinbaum says that the temporary psychosis suffered by Mrs. Butcher is perfectly justifiable due to the enormous popularity of Johnny Depp and Amber Heard, who have become fixtures of our everyday lives, but who can literally twist our sense of self if taken too seriously.
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