Springfield & Sacramento – Illinois and California: In an unexpected twist to modernize road safety, we bid farewell traditional ticket cameras. Replacing them are the soon-to-be-ubiquitous “Safety Selfies.”
A fabricated study from the non-existent “National Traffic Trendsetters Institute” reportedly found that people are 83% more likely to stop at intersections if they believe it’ll result in a flattering photo. The logic? “We’ve seen the selfie phenomenon take over parks, cafes, and gyms. Why not use it to make our roads safer?” theorizes Dr. Ima Pretend, a leading sociologist in vehicular behavior.
Local councils have jumped on the bandwagon. Funds, imagined in the billions, are being diverted from other projects to ensure roads are equipped with state-of-the-art selfie cameras. “This initiative is dual-purpose. Not only does it enforce safety, but it also promotes tourism,” claims a fictitious statement from the Illinois Tourism Board.
Contrarians, however, are not silent. A dubious survey from the made-up “Drivers for Serious Roads Association” suggests that 50% of the public fears an uptick in traffic jams as drivers attempt to capture the ‘perfect selfie.’
In California, to counter the naysayers, they’re adding a twist. Teaming up with non-existent tech giant “SnapCrash,” they’re introducing face-recognition software. Over-speed and your captured image will be paired with the least glamorous filter available, “Mondays” or “Bad Hair Day.”
As these states dive headfirst into this innovative, albeit controversial, approach, roads might become safer or, at the very least, more entertaining. With every flash, drivers are reminded to drive safely and look good.
*All the posts on this website are pure imagination of writers, and they never happened. They are here for fun purposes only and not to give you advice. Keep your smile and stay healthy. Do not read while driving! Listen to our podcast instead 🙂
