November always brings us Thanksgiving-related weirdness, and this year is no exception. Readers are no doubt aware of sky-high turkey prices. A single bird is going for 2 1/2 bars of gold and a gallon of gas. Producers would have us believe that supply-chain inflation and a massive outbreak of avian flu as the culprits. Still, our intrepid reporters have uncovered the truth: roving commando teams of free-range turkeys hijack the trucks before they get to stores.
Investigative journalist Ambrose Stuffinge has been embedded with the most effective turkey group, the West Side Gravy Gang, for six weeks. He says they have gobbled up every shipment in their region by attacking in a wishbone formation and releasing the imprisoned birds. Their commander, Tom (not his real name), carries a baster filled with tear gas and isn’t afraid to use it.
The attacks have been so successful that the military has been called in to restore order as tryptophan riots threaten to tear the nation apart.
*All the posts on this website are pure imagination of writers, and they never happened. They are here for fun purposes only and not to give you advice. Keep your smile and stay healthy. Do not read while driving! Listen to our podcast instead 🙂
